I wanted to respond to Helen’s blog and post but for some reason (probably my techno phobic fear of technology) I couldn’t respond to the posting – everytime I hit ‘publish’ or 'reply' a message popped up refusing to let me publish – I must be doing something wrong - so instead I am via my page replying and making it public.
Thanks for the posting Helen about time and opportunity to share. It is timely and very interesting because for the last few weeks I have been consumed by, and pre-occupied, with time and my perceived lack of it and by my own admission have been a spectator recently due to my understanding of how to manage my time- the challenges and issues and pressures that it throws up (life, teaching, etc) and how I have managed to deal with it. I have been feeling a little paralyzed by time and I agree that I am responsible for how I manage and shape my experiences in time - now from that spectator stance I am entering a phase where I wish to move through this paralysis and by reflecting and in the context of this current module (2) how I react to the world as I see and experience it. As I read your blog and comments it threw up the notion of whether time for me is too linear or not and that it is simply there and any measure to denote time is when we see change be it physically ( as we grow and evolve) , cognitively, emotionally, cyclical. I’ve tended to rush and panic that I have a small window of opportunity to affect change or not enough time, be it the simplest of things or find myself trying to catch up with other notions of time (e.g. rushing to get the bus, listening to regular news bulletins on the radio, making sure that the children have done their homework, or making sure that the students in my class understand or learn a routine or exercise on time before we can all collectively move on to the next dance routine in a small window of time. I've been reflecting on this for a little while and as soon as I get to a point where I wish to affect some kind of change in time, something happens which challenges my concept and ability to engage and get stuck in time. Also I have by reading all of the lively discussions both on the blogs and LinkedIn postings I have been trying to find a time entry to enter the debate. What has been stopping me is a paralysis of time because I feel that I will have needed to have reflected on it for some time so that I can articulate a sensible response from an embodiment perspective. In terms of where I stand in all of this I feel that in earlier years I have had influences which have been formative and shaping of my learning journey but now am entering a phase where whereby I have the responsibility to change and affect change and the time is mine to make it happen without waiting for the permissions or approvals of others.
I think that all of our blogs and discussions describe each one of us by default. I have always, since infants school, been seen as a doer - with the warning, aged about 7, that it was the tortoise and not the hare that won the race!!!
ReplyDeleteI always pressurise myself to make sure that I am up to speed with whatever I have to be up to speed with – be it accounts, replying to emails, buying insurance et al. and cannot rest until I am where I want to be. However, undertaking this course, working full time, the unexpected time spent working on a film earlier this year and trying to give some time to life is making me be more realistic about when I can work and how much time I should give to each area. I have got much better around devoting nearly all my time to working, as in my ‘job’, but that has been somewhat dictated by becoming a salaried employee rather than an odd ‘full-time’, self-employed, hourly paid worker. I currently rarely do additional college work once home, but I do regularly stay longer at work than my contract states, so I am keeping a record of this time so I can take it off in the holidays which is a better arrangement than in my previous job where I was scared to ever stop and lose income. I do switch off sometimes, otherwise my health suffers, but I can also be overcome by my anxiety to do well in my study. I have to manage it. My commitments sometimes stack up – I have 2 very full weekends coming up so I am trying to balance rest and study this week. One weekend is devoted to Move it, for college, so I will take that time back at some point, but I am also seeing 2 shows within the weekend, and the next to appearing at the London Palladium with friends and old colleagues, some of whom I have not seen for almost 30 years.
Rather than feeling paralysed as you describe Hopal, I get anxious, stressed and overtired when I overload, so I try to be one step ahead by having a plan in place and getting ahead if at all possible. You sound more like a cogitator – a thoughtful being who likes to contemplate in great depth and come to a conclusion. This allows your responses to be meaningful and deep and well considered. I often react to what I read, see or hear immediately – although I am constantly thinking, thinking, I form an opinion often quite instantaneously which does not often change after protracted deliberation once I have made my first decision. Sounds like I am the visceral being and you are the cerebral doesn't it, yet certain of my responses to life are more cerebral, and I like to think that I have a big picture, problem solving capacity. I can only theorise that my visceral actions are born out of my inherent need to be seen to be ‘good’. Whilst I know that faster is not always better, I sometimes cannot control my instinct to act. TBC
However; I am really struggling to come to a conclusion about certain areas of this work. I cannot commit to one philosophical stance or another at the moment. I keep coming back to the possibilities mooted by positivism and non-positivism, monism and dualism and my thoughts conflict so I am as yet unconvinced that I can ally myself with one particular notion. I have a clearer idea of the bite-sized notion of how I approach my teaching but cannot say with confidence that I have the same stance within the bigger picture. Actually, thinking about it, I do know for sure that I believe there is more than one way to get to any conclusion, so maybe that one is nearly settled, but I am really tussling with monism and dualism. I need to dig a little deeper until I get there… take my time perhaps? Lots of the imagery reading I am doing actually alludes to the above, so maybe by the time I have covered all the reading I want to get through I will be clearer.
ReplyDeleteI feel I sound like a bit of a contradiction as a being when I read this back, but I know what I mean; my desire to be ‘good’ colours the speed at which I sometimes react, but I am constantly analysing and thinking – at the moment I often find myself driving on auto-pilot whilst I am deep in thought about one aspect of my life or another. I do not feel able to come to a philosophical standpoint just yet, so will have to keep working on it until I do – it is not something that has instantly presented to me as other decisions and opinions might. (Perhaps those that I have more experience in and knowledge of?)
PS - I wonder therefore if the ideal is to be a harey tortoise? Just a little Wednesday night levity....
ReplyDeleteHopal, just reading your response now..sorry you were unable to post directly on my blog..I think the points you raise are very interesting, particularly your last point relating to the ownership, if you like, of time, over time. I agree, I feel much of our early lives are more governed by another's sense of time, be it school schedules, jobs etc..and that it is perhaps only at a point where we are getting so good at the juggling acts of life, home, work, study, that we recognise our own authorship in all of this. Those pressures, windows of time in which to seize opportunities, are they actually created by us, in order to fulfil certain roles at particular times, in order to take the steps that, somewhere in our subconcious, know are the way forward? I wonder... I can empathise with both your paralysis and Janet, your instant reactions in the way we make choices, take action, and again I feel that this is perhaps different in us at different times. I believe that context is a huge influence on our play on time, situations which necessitate immediate gut reactions, and action as consequence and circumstances where deliberation and reflection hold greater resonance for us.
ReplyDeleteI have played with concepts of Time choreographically for the past few years now, and am still finding new thoughts, questions and possible responses in movement, finding the whole journey fascinating and something which gives me meaning to move through as I move through time.
Hi Hopal
ReplyDeleteI love your comment about ownership of time. Of course from my embodied perspective time does not exist as a stand alone 'thing' . Time is in partnership with space to create situations (see Dewey and Mearlou-Ponty ). We enter situations along a continuum: from in the immediacy of sensation to reflection (often attributed to the mind). But if we are embodied both exist as different situations rather than different demarcations of 'of sun rotations'. Time after all as we know exists in relation to gravity- just as you could say us dancers exist in terms of gravity too. So for time to be 'your own' could be to say you are more fully engaged with the situation - taking time from an abstract measure to understanding it in terms of Self - embodiment.
What do you think?
Adesola